Dating in the Netherlands: what newcomers should know

How dating works here

• •Either person can ask the other out; women taking the first step is normal.
• •Splitting the bill 50/50 is the default and is not seen as unromantic; if one person pays, the other often pays next time.
• •Payment requests through apps like Tikkie are routine, even for small amounts.
• •Dutch people are direct and would rather hear your honest opinion than polite agreement; bluntness is not meant as rudeness.
• •Punctuality matters: arriving on time or a few minutes early is expected, and keeping someone waiting is seen as disrespectful.
• •People plan ahead and keep a busy agenda, so last-minute invitations often get a no; a coffee may be planned weeks in advance.
• •First dates are low-key: drinks or coffee in a café or a brown café, a walk, or cycling somewhere for a picnic when the weather is good.
• •Dates are casual, so dressing up is less expected than in many other countries.
• •Dating apps are popular, including some where a match leads straight to a date.
• •The pace is slow: it can take several months to become an official couple, and casual dating without labels is common.
• •Holding hands and kissing in public are normal, but more intense displays draw disapproving looks.
• •Three kisses on the cheek is a common greeting among people who know each other.
• •Many people speak English well, especially in the big cities, but trying some Dutch is appreciated.