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Dating culture · Indonesia

Dating in Indonesia: what newcomers should know

Updated October 2026

Dating in Indonesia is shaped by religion, family and politeness, and it differs a lot between regions, faiths and between cities and villages. Bali is mostly Hindu and used to visitors, but temples, ceremonies and offerings are part of daily life, and respect for them matters. People meet through friends, work, hobbies and apps, and Bali's beach clubs and events bring travellers and locals together. Indonesia's new criminal code also covers foreigners, so discretion and good manners are practical, not just polite.

How dating works here

  • Dating apps are widely used, and WhatsApp is the usual way to keep chatting after a match.
  • First dates are usually simple: coffee, a meal, a walk on the beach or a sunset drink.
  • Who pays varies: offering to pay, or to split, is polite, and with travellers and younger people splitting is common.
  • Family and religion carry real weight, and some people only date within their own faith.
  • Marriage in Indonesia must follow one of the recognised religions, and there is no separate civil marriage.
  • Public affection is more reserved than in many Western countries, especially outside tourist areas.
  • Indonesia's new criminal code took effect in 2026; sex outside marriage and unmarried couples living together can be prosecuted if close family members file a complaint, and it applies to foreigners too.
  • Things often move slowly; people take time to get to know each other.
  • Indonesians appreciate a few words of Bahasa Indonesia, like 'terima kasih' (thank you).
  • Some people do not shake hands with the opposite sex; wait for a hand to be offered.
  • Alcohol is legal in Bali and served widely, but many Indonesians do not drink for religious reasons.
  • Nyepi, the Balinese Day of Silence, shuts the whole island for a day each year, including the airport.

GO TO

  • Suggest a simple first date in a busy place, like a café, a beach club or a market.
  • Wear decent, covered clothing at temples and religious ceremonies.
  • Learn a few Indonesian phrases and use them.
  • Respect your date's religion, family and pace.
  • Use licensed money changers and agree prices for services in advance.
  • Use registered taxis or ride-hailing apps to get home.
  • Pay the Bali tourist levy (IDR 150,000) through the official Love Bali site.
  • Carry your passport or a copy of your stay permit.
  • Smile and stay calm, even when something goes wrong.
  • Send a short thank-you message after a nice date.

NO GO

  • Do not step on the small offerings (canang sari) on pavements and in doorways.
  • Do not enter the inner part of a temple unless you are there to pray, and never climb on shrines or sacred trees.
  • Do not take indecent or disrespectful photos at temples or sacred sites.
  • Do not touch or bring drugs anywhere near you; penalties include long prison terms and the death penalty.
  • Do not ride a scooter without the right licence and a helmet.
  • Do not drink unbranded spirits or cheap cocktails of unknown origin; methanol poisoning has killed people in tourist areas.
  • Do not push for physical contact or show a lot of affection in public.
  • Do not raise your voice or lose your temper in public.
  • Do not haggle aggressively with vendors.
  • Do not send money to anyone you have only met online.

Safety

  • Call 110 for the police and 118 for an ambulance; 112 also works for emergencies.
  • Meet first dates in busy public places and tell a friend where you are going.
  • Watch your drink being made and never leave it unattended; drink spiking has been reported in Bali.
  • Avoid going back to a hotel room with someone you just met; tourists have been robbed and assaulted that way.
  • Use Bluebird or other registered taxis or ride-hailing apps at night, and avoid dark, empty streets.
  • Keep your phone and bag on the side away from the road; bag snatching is often reported.
  • Emergency number: 110 (police), 118 (ambulance), 112 (general emergency)

Questions and answers

What is dating like in Indonesia?

Dating in Indonesia is shaped by religion, family and politeness, and it differs a lot between regions, faiths and between cities and villages. Bali is mostly Hindu and used to visitors, but temples, ceremonies and offerings are part of daily life, and respect for them matters. People meet through friends, work, hobbies and apps, and Bali's beach clubs and events bring travellers and locals together. Indonesia's new criminal code also covers foreigners, so discretion and good manners are practical, not just polite.

What should you avoid on a date in Indonesia?

Do not step on the small offerings (canang sari) on pavements and in doorways. Do not enter the inner part of a temple unless you are there to pray, and never climb on shrines or sacred trees.

What makes a good impression on a date in Indonesia?

Suggest a simple first date in a busy place, like a café, a beach club or a market. Wear decent, covered clothing at temples and religious ceremonies.

How do you stay safe on a date in Indonesia?

Call 110 for the police and 118 for an ambulance; 112 also works for emergencies.

Every person is different. These are general patterns, not rules.

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